THE WATCH TOWER'S 13 COMMANDMENTS

1st COMMANDMENT. BELIEVE with all thine heart that the Watch Tower is the Sole Interpreter of the Bible and the Bible cannot be properly understood without the Governing Body directing thy thinking. The Watchtower, “Finding Freedom with Jehovah’s Visible Organization”, 10-1-1967 p. 587.

2nd COMMANDMENT. Thou SHALT ALWAYS MEEKLY go along with the Lord’s Theocratic Organization and NEVER quibble and mouth thine own criticisms and opinions that art contrary to Watch Tower doctrine. The Watchtower, 2-1-1952, pgs. 79-80.

3rd COMMANDMENT. Thou  SHALT ALWAYS AVOID independent thinking . . . questioning the counsel that is provided by God’s visible organization. The Watchtower, 1-15-1983, p. 22.

4th COMMANDMENT. Thou SHALT NEVER SAY ANYTHING negative about God’s Appointed and Approved Organization but thou must always ‘speak in agreement’ and ‘be like minded with’ The Watch Tower Bible & Track Society. The Watchtower, 9-15-1956, p. 552.

5th COMMANDMENT. Thou SHALT GO DOOR-TO-DOOR with a smile upon thine face and not reveal that thou art going to earn thine way to Paradise Earth. The Watchtower, 8-15-1972, p. 491-492.

6th COMMANDMENT. Thou SHALT NOT ASSOCIATE with Non-Jehovah’s Witnesses unless thou art trying to suck them into the Watch Tower Organization. The Watchtower, 2/1/74, p.93 & 2/15/60, pp. 112-113.

7th COMMANDMENT. Thou SHALT NOT HONOR your mother/father on mother’s/ father’s day with a card, present, phone call, etc.

8th COMMANDMENT. Thou SHALT NOT JOIN the military, salute the flag, say the “Pledge of Allegiance,” sing the National Anthem, become a police officer or vote in any election. Thou canst, with great glee, take any kind of governmental monetary handout.

9th COMMANDMENT. Thou SHALT NOT BE INVOLVED in Sports or the Entertainment Industry unless thou art really famous and it’s good publicity for the WT.

10th COMMANDMENT. Thou SHALT NEVER USE an Internet site that is not approved by the Faithful and Discreet Slave who  dispenses meat in due season.

11th COMMANDMENT. Thou SHALT NOT DONATE blood or consent to blood transfusions for thine self nor thine spouse nor thine children nor thine elderly relatives nor thine friends that art under thine control through a “Durable Power of Attorney” (DPOA) for health care that allows thou to make health care decisions for a person even if that person would choose a transfusion.

12th COMMANDMENT. Thou SHALT NOT KEEP family or friend’s secrets from Jehovah’s Visible Organization. Thou must and with much haste, report friends and family members who breaketh any of these 10 13 Commandments or any of the myriads and myriads of other laws, rules and regulations that keep Jehovah God’s visible, one true organization, humming along. If thou has reported, with haste, the secrets of any person (friend or family or known Jehovah’s Witness) thou hast earn the right to declare thyself to be one of the 144,000.

13th COMMANDMENT. If THOU HAST READ to this point, thou must report thyself immediately to an elder of thine local Kingdom Hall as having read information on an Internet site not sanctioned by Jehovah’s Approved and Anointed Enforcer. The fact that said information is truthful is not a defense for thyself to avoid being disfellowshipped.