What is it like to Marry a Jehovah's Witness? Part 2

WT PRESSURE. Every Jehovah’s Witness is under pressure to perform to the expectation of the elders. No matter how much a JW does, the elders are always pressing for more; more door-to-door service, more magazine placements, more studies, more public talks, more meeting attendance and theocratic ministry school assignments, more, more, more! More is never enough! And distancing themselves from non-Witnesses is part of this performing to meet expectations

On top of this, friendships in the WT are very conditional. A JW can turn his/her back on a friend at a moment’s notice simply because that friend questions or challenges a WT policy or they slip up by failing to meet one of their standards. An X-JW rightly observed: “…they are only friends if I attend the Kingdom Hall.” As long as the JW tows the line and fits in perfectly with their operation, the WT will accept him, but the minute he steps out of line, disfellowshipping (and losing all his JW friends) is a constant threat.

JW’s ARE LEGALISTS. Legalism is an attempt to control outward actions by means of laws, enforced by penalties. It is fear-based and motivated by guilt. It often fosters a superficial appearance of righteousness because it is based upon a system of man-made standards by which the group can measure one’s spirituality through a religious scale that they made up. This is why the JW’s acceptance of anyone is so conditional. As long as they are performing to the WT’s expectations, they will fellowship with you, but the minute you slip up or buck the system, they will drop you. If your boyfriend refuses to accept their guilt-trip of telling him he can’t associate with you, he will have demonstrated that he was not going to bow down to their fear-based control so they would penalize him by removing their friendship.

Legalistic groups like the JW’s make up their own standards by which they can measure one's spirituality and determine if they are “worthy” enough for their approval and friendship.

This is legalism! It is the opposite of God’s method of grace. Grace is the control of inward attitudes and outward actions by means of love, without a penalty. It is love-based and motivated by the freedom from the guilt of sin. In God’s system, when a person places his faith and trust in the shed blood of Christ, his sins are completely forgiven so that he no longer fears rejection from God.

Part 3 is here.